Finally it's over.[though the words of one our faculty that the game is not over till the last ball is played, still linger in my mind].The much awaited day, the mother of all competitive exams, 'The Cat', has finally ended.Nothing can change now.No matter how much I pray, how much I think about it, deep inside only I know that my fate is sealed. Only thing which can perhaps with God almighty's grace change is me and my family's fortunes.
I am not going to write an essay on my experiences of perhaps what might turn out to be the most happening day of my life. No. But I have to tell you, my heart was beating at a rate like never before!!.
As the check-in procedure continued so did my adrenalin!. 'Tense' would not be germane to describe my mental state. To the contrary,I was somehow extremely charged and excited. I remember trying my best not to let the momentous occassion weigh upon me.The air-conditioned atmosphere, the biometric-testing, the strictness of the prometric and other administrative guys and finally the hour long wait before the computer screen did not perturb me.May be because for the first time before an exam of such magnitude I did'nt feel the pressure of expectation, the pressure of performing and delivering the best. May be because for the first time I had thoroughly enjoyed my preparation and was really not so bothered about its outcome.
Amazing what pressure does. I had faced similar situations back in class 12, during those dreaded IIT, AIEEE, and JEE days.Looking at those anxious ever-expecting faces of my parents then, I wished, if only I could bring an ever-lasting smile on their faces. This time though it was different. Mom was calm and relaxed as she could possibly never be!!.She didnt enchant those blessings with anxiety anymore. Believe me, this was the most relaxing factor of all. Yet, this also made me realise the somewhat ugly truth that I have grown up, that my parents are not going to always egg me on to study and make a name for myself, that I was on my own from now..........
Yours truly,
Koustav.
I am not going to write an essay on my experiences of perhaps what might turn out to be the most happening day of my life. No. But I have to tell you, my heart was beating at a rate like never before!!.
As the check-in procedure continued so did my adrenalin!. 'Tense' would not be germane to describe my mental state. To the contrary,I was somehow extremely charged and excited. I remember trying my best not to let the momentous occassion weigh upon me.The air-conditioned atmosphere, the biometric-testing, the strictness of the prometric and other administrative guys and finally the hour long wait before the computer screen did not perturb me.May be because for the first time before an exam of such magnitude I did'nt feel the pressure of expectation, the pressure of performing and delivering the best. May be because for the first time I had thoroughly enjoyed my preparation and was really not so bothered about its outcome.
Amazing what pressure does. I had faced similar situations back in class 12, during those dreaded IIT, AIEEE, and JEE days.Looking at those anxious ever-expecting faces of my parents then, I wished, if only I could bring an ever-lasting smile on their faces. This time though it was different. Mom was calm and relaxed as she could possibly never be!!.She didnt enchant those blessings with anxiety anymore. Believe me, this was the most relaxing factor of all. Yet, this also made me realise the somewhat ugly truth that I have grown up, that my parents are not going to always egg me on to study and make a name for myself, that I was on my own from now..........
Yours truly,
Koustav.
Grown up Kaustav pal...!!! :)
ReplyDelete